The English Chap-Show
by GrandadM
Summary: What happens when Gurtrude meets the freakshow of her dreams? ;)
h1 style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-weight: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-size: inherit; line-height: 18px; font-family: proxima-nova, 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; vertical-align: baseline;" data-reactid="..0.$1218349066611073.0"span style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-size: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline;" data-reactid="..0.$1218349066611073.0.1"span style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-size: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline;" data-reactid="..0.$1218349066611073.0.1.0"One day, there was a big blue woman, in a big blue house, with a big blue dog. The big blue woman's name is Gurtrude. She was in love with a freak show. He was invisible but not to her. She lived a very sad life. She'd do a poo. Put it in a box. Put it in the freezer. And save it for later for ice cream. She might even put a bit of sugar on it. /spanbr data-reactid="..0.$1218349066611073.0.1.$newline1/=10" /span style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-size: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline;" data-reactid="..0.$1218349066611073.0.1.2"She bites her toenails, picks her nose and some times drinks her dogs saliva. She lives in Ockendon because she was fat. She had a unibrow. But she had her own CHAP show. But she doesn't do it anymore. Because she got too fat. She use to look like Mila Kunis but now she's let herself go an she looks like Roseie O'Donnell. /spanbr data-reactid="..0.$1218349066611073.0.1.$newline3/=10" /span style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-size: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline;" data-reactid="..0.$1218349066611073.0.1.4"The invisible man approached her like no one had approached her before because everyone ran away. /spanbr data-reactid="..0.$1218349066611073.0.1.$newline5/=10" /span style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-size: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline;" data-reactid="..0.$1218349066611073.0.1.6"He said to her, "Baby girl, run away with me. Because you're a babe. I wanna hear you roar."/spanbr data-reactid="..0.$1218349066611073.0.1.$newline7/=10" /span style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-size: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline;" data-reactid="..0.$1218349066611073.0.1.8"She blushed and replied with, "Oh sugar muffin, I never thought you'd ask. I'm like a damsel in distress. You're the Mickey to my Minnie. What are we doing? I must tell Kent that I have to break up with him. But first, I will have to kill Raegan and Marnie. Because they be ugly."/spanbr data-reactid="..0.$1218349066611073.0.1.$newline9/=10" /span style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-size: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline;" data-reactid="..0.$1218349066611073.0.1.a"The Freakshow touches her shoulder and says, "Babe, I have a confession. I'm in love with Shrek. Maybe that's why I'm attracted to you. Please take my hand. And suck my fingers. I hope you don't mind the cat hairs. I was saving it for supper. But you deserve it more."/spanbr data-reactid="..0.$1218349066611073.0.1.$newline11/=10" /span style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-size: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline;" data-reactid="..0.$1218349066611073.0.1.c"So she sucks his fingers.../span/span/h1


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